經濟
我想，我真是讀錯major。
ECON…經濟…應該係我專長吧，好歹拿了個證書，我應該對現在美國與世界經濟前景關心吧，但是好奇怪，即使近期日日有大公司虧損、賣盤、破產…我一點感覺也沒有，我只覺得這是自然不過的循環現像。股票升多少跌多少，只是一個數字游戲，從來引不起我興趣，我依然照常工作吃飯，從來不會考慮自己薪水會不會受影響，或吃飯會不會貴一點。甚至，有時媽媽跟我閒話家常，說到海鮮有多貴，蔬菜又漲價，我只聽得煩厭，叫她別說。或者因為大學未讀完我就背住一堆債做人，日日算住賺多少，駛多少，省多少，儲多少，還多少…使我討厭金錢與滿身銅臭的世界。爸爸以前說我不留意新聞，不研究賺錢，我心想“為甚麼要研究賺錢﹖”有屋住，有飯食，有時間做自己喜歡的事，偶爾去我想去的地方，有甚麼不好﹖看看現在最不快樂的人都是那些研究賺錢的人，我慶幸自己從未踏進這旋渦。
凌至信與于素心
凌B真係好靚仔，好可愛，好冧死女啊 :-D
看了幾集Dr.Ling同Dr.Yue的戯，其實覺得幾有感覺。如果劇本可以寫好啲 （S老千班底寫啲劇情超無聊勁低能)，呢pair其實可以更有發揮。現在我只期待月餅快快結束，珠光快快出街 — 我期待真正屬於黃生同鍾小姐的愛情故事。
Dr.Ling同Dr.Yue的插曲幾好聽，可惜黃生冇自己唱的插曲，看住Dr.Ling同Dr.Yue，聽住餅少唱歌始終有點大殺風景。
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Talk to me
You’ll speak with me
Don’t sink before you rise baby
Don’t fade away
You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the times we had
Feels like a world away
Who’s to say
We’ll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don’t wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause we’re the same
And I know that we’ll never change
Look, I bought your favorite ice cream
I don’t wanna see it melt away
If you walk out now
I don’t know if we could be the same
Baby, just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
I want you to stay here with me
祝君「好」
希望你早日康復
裴勇俊入院做肩部手術 2008年8月8日
【明報專訊】韓劇《太王四神記》收視理想，男主角裴勇俊成功背後，其實付出不少血汗，拍攝打鬥場面時更多次受傷，令右手拇指和肩膀靭帶斷裂，頸部脊椎神經和膝蓋都曾受傷。當時他曾入院治療，本周一再次入院為肩部進行手術。裴勇俊的經理人公司表示：「這次是要全身麻醉的大手術，幸好手術非常成功，相信一周後可以出院。日後還要定期到醫院接受康復治療，但應該不會影響日常活動。」他還透露短期內裴勇俊只在國內拍廣告，暫時不會到海外工作。
文：黃錦華
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另外，黃生，雖然我非常討厭老千的戯，我還是支持你的。點首歌你聽，是零自信的寫照。
It’s a phase :)
I’m going through a weird phase lately, trying very hard, extra hard to transform myself into… well, still ME.
In June, I got a tattoo on my lower neck. Always wanted a tattoo, just never thought I would actually do it. The pain was unbearable!!! But it came out better than expected. Thanks to (my artist) Matt, who refused to breathe whenever he laid the needle on me.
In July, I finally got Lasik. What a price to pay! Then again, to ditch the nearsighted, slightly-nerdy-looking me, I’d do it all again. Plus, it didn’t even hurt. The results: so far so good…haha.
Coming August, I’m getting piercings. No, not belly button. And HELL NO, not tongue. Just upper ear; 2 cartilage piercings on my left ear. I bet I’m gonna scream like a baby. My tattoo buddy thinks she’s addicted to pain. I believe I’m heading that direction too. Who knows, one day I may actually go for the tongue.
Also in August, SoBe. Let’s see if it’s really worth all the hype.
PS: Leon, I miss you so much lately. Please sing for us again :)
雜碎
沒有黃某人…第2日。係﹐第2日only﹐因為佢未完全失蹤得晒﹐小小地都重有d新聞﹐可憐fans好似吊鹽水﹐叫晒救命。最新呢個髮型﹐sorry﹐未習慣﹐希望唔需要習慣。
昨天完成了《最YD的第七天》﹐不過未發得﹐要等契細佬回來。下個MV已經開工﹐紀念日的禮物﹐希望趕得切。嬌嬌女王﹐擱置。
BoscoWiki進行式。加油! :-D
話甘快6月﹐話甘快又紀念日﹐話甘快就生日﹐話甘快就奧運﹐話甘快就秋天﹐話甘快就年尾 — 我今年重未有目標﹐去邊度玩好呢﹖澳洲﹖越南﹖其實如果可以﹐想去四川﹐做2-3個星期義工都好啊﹐可惜search甘耐都唔見美國組織搞短期義工行程。
6月無聊。7月月餅﹐不期待。8月奧運。9月…HEROES…你地返黎啦唔該…我好掛住Peter Petrelli啊 :cry: ….10月豬肝﹐到時有排睇﹐正﹗
疑似升職?!!!…真係怪﹐點好呢﹖走去問老闆 “Did I get a promotion?”﹐他會點答﹖笑我﹖呢條友仔極有可能笑我﹐兼唱通街 :-?
Lastly, 要減肥。
我偶像的粉絲
我搞唔清楚我係咩心態去support佢（哋），但又可以support咁多年。
以前迷黎明，我真係傻到覺得佢會係我真命天子架 — 你話我當時幾細路女呢﹖不過以fans來講，真係唔合格咯，最多係買晒佢嘅CD同每逢佢來美國登台都去睇，不過就連fanclub都冇入(入唔到)，合照都冇張(唔鍾意影相)，新聞睇都唔睇下(以前唔識字)。其實到今時今日我都重好鍾意LEON，明年應該啱啱夠20年 （係好細個好細個開始，ok？）。
我信我可以鍾意黃生更耐，只係迷佢嘅程度時多時少。
最近黃生好似人間蒸發咗，有d唔習慣，但暫時未有特別miss佢嘅感覺。
有時黃生暴光律好高的時候，一方面我會替他高興，但另一方面我會慢慢開始覺得疲勞。當有太多嘢要同時消化，我會開始冇時間好好欣賞佢d戲，因為其實最終，我係個睇戲嘅人。又或者，根本就係我性格問題，樣樣都唔鍾意多，一多就自然抗拒，就好似我每次見完佢真人都會忽略佢幾個星期，過一過冷河。
呢幾年覺得個衰仔越來越好樣，不過我就係HC唔到去邊，更加YY唔到咩程度，好怪。有時就算同其他fans吹水，都只係順住個勢插幾句玩下，都唔係真係HC得好興奮嗰種，反而窒佢會重興奮。或者一開始我就唔係鍾意佢個樣，到宜架都重會挂住以前傻傻哋嘅佢，一個冇機心冇煩惱，說話唔會過濾，做嘢未必三思嘅死仔包… 離唔開佢係因爲我唔捨得嗰個帶我走出自閉歲月嘅死仔包，只要黃生耐不耐露出以前嘅死仔包樣，我呢條粉絲都走唔甩。
But好有趣，有人覺得我係YY天才，噢，我完全唔覺得我對COKE嗰d屬於YY，因爲佢哋根本就表現得咁close，令我興奮嘅唔係一d超出框框嘅遐想，係見到兩個自己好鍾意嘅artist變得咁close，咁好朋友，因爲我唔係愛屋及烏，係喺不同時候不同原因喜歡上兩個不同性格的人，而他們發展出的友情帶給我好多驚喜。至於BL MV其實只得幾個，都冇我total作品的10%，and都只不過係挑戰自己創作力，覺得做主流MV再難在内容上有突破。
厄，未睇《亮相》，不過唔急，等出嗮街先。
繼續…感動…
繼續上次未寫完那篇blog… 讓我感動 ～ 讓我辛苦 …足足過了2個月先繼續。
第四次超級感動位﹕
其實這是一次非常虛無同妄想成分極高的感動經歷，或者只有我一個人會明白，甚至連偶像也不會知道他感動過我。這是回憶帶給我的感動，因爲當時我真的一點感覺也沒有 —— 從馬來西亞到香港，一直到坐上回美國的航班，靜靜回想幾日發生的事，我才發現他有多難得。
在馬來西亞最後一個活動結束後，我們就飛車趕往機場，希望在偶像check-in前見見他，可是我們在高速公路上遇上交通意外。我長那麽大第一次撞車撞得那麽嚴重，人雖然大步攬過，不過恐懼纏繞了我好久好久。到了機場，知道偶像已經check-in了，我非常生氣，也不是氣他，他走是正常不過，哪個偶像在機場等fans來送？我是氣自己吧，覺得自己差點沒命也不知道爲什麽，為追星？值得嗎？之前追星的興奮已經一掃而空，腦裏不停重復想著車給大巴士逼得撞上欄杆然後向左反彈飄過四五條行車綫的一刹那，身邊的朋友說什麽話已經聽不進去，她們還説笑呢，是我膽小嗎？
其實當日我跟pinpin是搭偶像同一航班去香港，另外KK跟Maggie要搭另一航班去香港，check-in後我們還是有機會見他，所以大家都在候機室等他出現，他在VIP區等到時間差不多就來候機室登機。偶像跟山人來到的時候她們就走到他那裏，我不想動的，坐在原位很久，不過覺得不太禮貌才把行李推過去。她們就跟他說我們爲了趕來見他所以撞車差點沒命，山人說趕不到就別趕，是好心的忠告，我也沒什麽不悅，可是偶像當時的反應讓我非常失望，繼續他的嬉皮笑臉，還用車速說了些爛gag笑話。回想她們説話的態度神情，因爲偶像出現變得輕鬆自在，一點不像發生過什麽不愉快的事，實在很難令偶像相信意外的嚴重性。我站在那裏一直沒有説話，也沒有笑過，還是呆呆的驚魂未定，不太留意他們說什麽。偶像好像問我們去不去聖誕gathering，也不知道她們怎麽溝通讓偶像誤會了我要去日本，他做了個很孩子氣的失望表情，皺著眉說不來就算，我解釋說我是專程從日本去馬來西亞同香港見他，他又笑了，不知道我有沒有笑過，應該沒有吧。
在這寒暄過程中，他們都談的很愉快吧，好像只有我覺得不耐煩，想儘快登機。KK跟Maggie離開去她們登機閘口，我就說夠鐘，不等pinpin跟偶像，自己趕了上飛機 —— 這已經是第二次我在交談之間掉下偶像自己離開，第一次在美國。我是不是很壞？契細佬說我奇怪，人家要跟偶像說話的機會都沒有，我有又不珍惜。但這是我性格，不想説話就不說，不想笑就不笑，對家人如是，對老闆如是，對朋友如是…對偶像也如是。
在飛機上喝了點酒，哭了一場，把抑壓的情緒發洩了，就睡了一小會。到了香港，知道pinpin很想去追偶像，叫她先走，可是她沒有掉下我，我很感激她，當時的我真的什麽分寸都沒了，行屍走肉。我慢慢跟住pinpin走到偶像平時等車的地方，本來以爲錯過了偶像，不過原來他還未出來，回到大堂找他，他已經給fans包圍，pinpin幫FC拍照，我就推住行李在他們後面慢慢走。
在等車的地方大家站了很久，車一直沒有來，偶像一直跟fans聊天，我就靠在行李車站在一邊，沒有跟他説話。其實心裏面一直想走，不過KK跟Maggie飛機還未到，反正要等，就陪陪pinpin吧。覺得他一直邊聊邊東張西望的，以爲在看車來到沒有，直到他回過頭跟我說“你學我啊？”（類似吧，不記得清楚） 我跟他一樣，深夜時分帶住太陽眼鏡，他是習慣，我是因爲哭過所以帶眼鏡。心情已經沒有在KLIA那麽糟，他站的方向是要轉過頭根我說話，無視他也太沒有禮貌了，於是我對他笑了一下，把行李車推前了一點。pinpin站在他一點鐘方向，一直跟他聊，我站在他9點鐘方向，一直在聽，他跟其他幾位fans也有問有答，只是我留意到他每跟pinpin說一句都兩頭望，是看我反應嗎？我當他是吧，良心發現的跟他聊一下，終於算是有講有笑，但還是比平時冷淡。
到了香港酒店，我的情緒甚至嚇怕了契細佬，她一直想8卦馬來西亞追星的過程，不過我一直沒有多談。往後兩日出了一個活動，見了很多明星，還跟其他fans一齊tea、逛街、唱K，逐暫恢復開朗心情，到了聖誕gathering當天我已經把撞車的事抛之腦後了。在燒烤場，他突然說了句話，讓我不知道給什麽反應。他問“你的撞車後遺症沒了吧？”，我反應不過來，給契細佬搶住回答了，我只是點頭，然後話題急轉到他扮政要，我忍不住笑了。
回想起來，從KLIA他feel到我不妥，一直很小心説話，在HKG想逗我聊天，過了幾天還是不放心再問候一次，真謝謝偶像關心，讓我很感動。
The Seventh Day — Romantic Recipe Gone Wrong
My critique of “The Seventh Day”
The cake was so deliciously sweet last time you had all your hopes up. Unfortunately, the chefs tried to surprise you with an innovative, but terminally flawed recipe.
You’d think that the original cast and crew of 2005 hit series “Under The Canopy of Love” would make ratings miracle again. You’d think that well-received on-screen couple, Kevin and Niki, will steal your heart again. You’d think that TV cutie, Bosco, will make your day again. You’d think that the magnificent scenery at Shirakawa and cultural presence at Kanazawa will add romantic accents to their love stories. You think and think for a year or two, only to find that they had the perfect ingredients, but somehow screwed up the recipe.
Albeit some people may not agree that UTCOL was good series, it was to the least enjoyable throughout. What made UTCOL a good series? Certainly, IMO, it was not the excessively-bright glowing videography. So what did they bring over to the “sequel”? Exactly — the darn videography. Pretty? Yeah, for about half an episode, until it becomes an eye-sore.
What made you like UTCOL? Maybe it was Kevin and Niki’s chemistry, maybe it was Bosco and Kevin’s chemistry, or even the chemistry between the supporting actors - but did you find enough of that which you liked in TSD? I didn’t.
Kevin and Niki just became a loving couple out of nowhere, and then overly melodramatic obstacles have them show up separately for most of the time. Bosco and Kevin? Forget it. They had no more than 8 short conversations in 20 episodes. I see the chemistry, but it was so short-lived I didn’t get a chance to enjoy it. To be fair, the times when Kevin and Niki were actually acting face-to-face, there were some sweet and romantic moments. Also, Bosco and Natalie’s tug-of-war style dating game was refreshingly cute and very humorous. Yet then you come back to reality to find both stories highly unbelievable.
Yan falling for Wing was in many ways unconvincing. Analyzing her background and her personality, what makes her think that Wing is the right guy for her? She didn’t know him long enough to discover his positives. He didn’t do anything to win her heart. She was not innocent nor rebellious enough to fall for the bad guy - because it’s usually one extreme or the other where you find bad guys irresistible. Why him, when she had the option to continue pursuing Dr. Ching?
Wing falling for Yan was simply mind-boggling. Like … who, what, when, where, why did all of a sudden he has feelings for her? Just because she’s following him around? Just because she suddenly scolded him for neglecting his girlfriend-that-wasn’t-to-begin-with? Is that why, because he felt sorry for her? (Hello scriptwriters, show me his feelings and stop showing her blog!)
OK, so they hooked up under the tree — whatever! Now what? Some lovey-dovey scenes that tell us, “Yes, they are in love.” Then comes all those misunderstandings and whatnots that have Yan blogging 90% of the time in a monotonous voice that distracts me from watching whatever’s left of Kevin’s screen time. Then you see him fly to Japan. “Yes.”, I think to myself, “the good parts are coming.” And then I find out the Japan plot is not about Yan and Wing - yeah, very romantic (sarcastically).
Cut to Bosco and Natalie. My only sigh of relief is when I see Bosco. Him and his buddies, Natalie and 3J make the other side of the story so much more interesting to watch (because they weren’t blogging). Although Don and Sasa are probably the worst type of boyfriend or girlfriend anyone wants, Bosco and Natalie’s comical portrayal make them so adorable. The mind games they played on each other were hilarious. Though, like the editor-in-chief described Sasa’s comic story, it’s repetitive and not very progressive. Still, I didn’t mind, because the other couple was even less progressive (and still blogging). When they finally truly fall for each other, I was absolutely engrossed in their puppy love (and kissing), for about half an episode. Then the truth comes out. Now they hate each other. Ha Ha… just great (sarcastically, again).
Now, both sides develop into love triangle relationships. Very TVB! Not much acting face-to-face between the 4 leads for about 2 or 3 episodes - damn it. Yan gets cancer, gets a brain tumor, is diagnosed with LFS, blah, blah, blah. The Korean sappiness kicks into full gear. My only thought during those scenes - man, Dr. Ching sure is an expert in every field, Yan is so lucky to have him as a doctor, because doctors like that DO NOT EXIST! I’m not surprised if he delivered her baby.
OK, long winded…. but still not finished. To be continued.
讓我感動 ～ 讓我辛苦
昨晚跟契細佬聊天﹐談到大馬行有幾次黃生讓我覺得感動﹐今天有時間寫寫幾句﹐留個回憶。
第一次輕微感動位﹕在KimGary活動他坐下來會影迷﹐一發現我坐他對面﹐他做了超浮誇的surprise表情。早就有人告訴他我會到馬來西亞會他﹐所以他這個surprise表情是非常之假﹐不過﹐看見他有點反應﹐雖然我懷疑他還是不太記得我是誰﹐我還是非常之happy的。
第二次中等感動位﹕在第二天出席孤兒院活動﹐他自己食完午飯後吩咐”食蕉哥哥”幫我們買午飯﹐交給helper分給我們吃﹐說怕我們沒有時間吃東西。雖然那幾個飯盒明顯不夠分﹐肉碎太辣﹐豆腐也有點酸臭味﹐不過﹐我們幾個女孩子感受到偶像的關懷﹐臭也吃的津津有味。
第三次超級感動位﹕孤兒院最後一站拍大合照之時﹐偶像見大馬的helper沒有進去合照就大大聲喊了她的名字﹐然後扶住她的手拉她到正中間﹐我當時已經覺得他這樣considerate好難得﹐因為她這些天以來真的很賣力籌備﹐他應該重視她的。後來拍完大合照了﹐大家都要想閃了﹐他就叫大家先別散開﹐等一陣﹐然後他指住我叫我進去拍照﹐我先是搖頭的﹐他就叫人“拉佢入來，成日卦住影我。”當時不知道誰搶了我部相機，然後好多人在拉我推我過去，我不好意思只好乖乖跟他跟大家合照，然後他的手伸到好長的在搭我脖子，好刻意的才踫到我一點點，我當時還不為意，是後來幫我拍照的ｆｒｉｅｎｄ告訴我。我好感動，他真的好難得，一個好值得疼的偶像。
第四次超級感動位﹕
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這篇blog寫到一半，我知道了一個傷心的事實，但是說不出口，只能說：偶像，你讓我好感動，同時讓我好辛苦。讓我哭一天吧，我會沒事的。
我恨我係一個愛自尋煩惱嘅人
邊有人似我，嫌工作太悠閑？一個月難得有三幾日冇嘢做，我偏偏搵老細complain我太得閑，重要麻煩佢搵啲嘢畀我做，佢都話我怪。
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老竇打人情牌已經幫我辦咗Eason演唱會飛，之後佢問我睇唔睇汪阿姐，跟住又問我睇唔睇林峯，3壇同一日，玩咩？阿姐唔睇就罷，論音樂我就想睇Eason多啲嘅，不過我又想同啲friend去追林峯噃，多人好玩嘛。本來佢哋一個深夜一個下晝，最慘一個喺康州一個喺大西洋城，如果勉強都可以走兩場，不過大西洋城去康州要開5個鐘頭車，攰都攰死我咯。嚡，雖然我想少爺幫我簽咗張唱片海報，不過佢演唱會要我自己揞荷包買飛我又唔係好捨得 （我只會為黎天王，郭天王，同黃生濶佬），所以這次應該唔去捧少爺同敏之場，有啲可惜，不過算啦。
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嚡，講講呢幾日嘅心情：…矛…盾….矛盾矛盾矛盾矛盾矛盾！
有人勸我，有人話我，有人諒解我，亦都有人嬲我。我唔會因爲人哋叫我幾聲”G神”就以爲自己萬能，我都係人啫。為個死仔包搞論壇，一開始我冇打算咁involve架噃，我幫朋友之嘛，搞搞下又會無啦啦咁複雜，搞到自己冇曬時間冇曬心情enjoy佢本人嘅演出。老實講，我對黃生嘅feel已經所剩無幾，7年幾感情亦已經畀佢身邊嘅事端磨滅得八八九九，唔理啲事端係人爲還是誤會，已經影響到我同好多人。如果我夠絕，一個click，LB將成爲過去，所有執著，所有煩惱都會隨之成爲過去，不過我又做唔出。因爲我係我，我係一個好情緒化但係又唔夠衝動，好感性但係又好鬼理性的巨蟹，一隻鍾意用石頭壓住自己個殼的巨蟹女。
最後一次對話
時間：12/23/2007 下午3點
地點：西貢某燒烤場
嘰哩咕嚕：（站著）今次可能係我最後一次見你
波士高：（坐著）你話今年？
嘰哩咕嚕：（搖頭）Forever
波士高：（突眼）點解啊？
嘰哩咕嚕：（執生）厄…亞洲我已經玩完曬，應該以後都唔嚟香港
波士高：（微笑）哦…咁我可以去美國架嘛，到時咪可以見囖
嘰哩咕嚕：（説謊）咁好啊…你嚟美國先見啦
I give up
我好煩…
兩年前，我跟一幫網友一起搞論壇，大家都好有心為這個網站出錢出力，最後，舊年一月因爲管理團隊的性格、作風、同意願上的分歧弄得LB四分五裂。一年前，我跟另外一網友都有心想幫偶像搞好官網，我們都覺得一個好的網站才能有效把他在網上推廣出去，礙於我是LB管理員，身份尷尬，只能提出意見，不能出面幫忙，不過一年不到最後因爲種種阻力，我們理想落空了，我朋友也選擇離開這個圈子了。
爲什麽要這樣？我們一群人是真心喜歡他，喜歡分享他的東西，也喜歡分享喜歡他的感覺。害了誰？我不解。辦不好自己的網站我們從來不怨天尤人，每次都很多人brainstorm怎樣怎樣做才可以讓更多人滿意我們，上我們網站玩，而且會想想怎樣怎樣做才叫為”他”好。雖然我在意自己的成績，不過大前提還是為他好，也希望他自己的網站爭氣，但是我真的很單純，很一相情願。別説幫，就連提點意見人家也當你有居心，是我樣子不夠誠懇吧。好吧，各家自掃門前雪，我也沒有那麽多時間去理會，但是爲什麽不放過我們？如果是商業社會，淘汰勁敵，廣闊市場佔有率是無可厚非，但是這裡不是。這個只是一幫小朋友追星的小圈子，爲什麽要弄得那麽複雜？爲什麽要那麽黑暗？私下閒聊發洩不滿叫”抹黑”，公開指點叫”落面”，那麽用”官”字打壓人家，用規矩控制別人思想行爲叫什麽？很久以前我就對這些視而不見聽而不聞，越是不了解越好，保持距離是我最後的免疫方法，然而話終會吹到我耳邊。
今日，有個誤會讓我哭了，哭到面紅耳赤，早早知道是個誤會，但是難以阻止自己情緒波動。有人話偶像不喜歡LB，是很大的誤會，表面是散播謠言的人也很無辜，我知道她不會說這種話，也相信偶像不會說這種話。雖然堅信自己的朋友跟自己偶像，不過當我見到這些話，我心裏面真的很難受，不是對他們抱怨，只是對整個局面感到無奈與失望。本來我以爲幫自己偶像建網站是為他好，不過我萬萬想不到原來我這樣想很單純。自問自己也見過世面，但是原來這個世界真的可以那麽複雜，複雜到連坐在家裏電腦前面也會讓我有喘不過氣的感覺。
我快控制不了自己情緒了，我會想，如果偶像唔鍾意LB，不如我關了它罷了。不過，我又知道他不是這樣想的。而且，LB不是我的，是大家的，我曾經責駡前管理員無理關論壇，所以自己絕不能犯同樣的錯。我該怎麽辦？
一月對LB真不祥 (T_T)
不捨得…太多太多
已經很久沒有更新了，實在對不起經常來的朋友
作MV需要花很多時間，尤其我這個人慢吞吞，一個MV就搞幾個星期，甚至幾個月
我實在不能再花那麽多時間在這個hobby上，工作現在對我來説最重要
我其實想過close down這個blog，因爲有它在，我不捨得不作MV
但是這個blog 2005年開到現在，有那麽都人來過，我捨不得一下就刪除
8月，我説服了自己renew域名，兩個月後今日，我又後悔了
最後發佈的MV，因爲上了報紙，好多人都看過
Youtube搜索偶像名字，這個MV點擊率現在排第一，算是完美的句號吧
或者，暫時，甚麽都不做
然後，慢慢，逐漸放開一切… 包括…
PS: 常小侠~~ 我多數用DVD片源作MV,不過你要RM轉AVI，建議你用 WinAVI Converter
What happens in Atlantic City, stays in… the heart
[Show前...雜想]
今次見偶像其實好開心，原來佢都幾在意自己啵（我覺得）
不過點解我咁怪誕，時冷時熱呢？
有時好熱心，有時又好唔在乎咁，重幾次窒佢，窒得幾應下添
GL，你好唔畀面人啫~~~
`
喺機場我一走埋去佢就同我講 “好耐冇見”…“你認得我咩？”…“認得﹗~~”
OK，呢個位，我應該話 “真係？”，然後好開心咁笑 ^_^ …
But no… 我偏偏明知故問 “咁我叫咩名？”… “呃，名呢個就~~~”
偶像發出求救信息，Kelly快啲救佢啦… 我都知你唔會記得架喇
`
每當我望住佢嘅時候，我總係覺得佢有嘢想講，但係佢又唔出聲喎，想點呢？
等緊我講嘢先？定還是呢個係佢default表情，我自己諗多咗？
算，完全冇context我估都冇用，當自己諗多咗
`
我問佢睇過我整嘅斷背MV未，佢話冇，不過佢知道上晒報紙
我問佢介唔介意我搞啲咁嘅嘢，佢話唔介意…
都未睇，點會介意喎，睇完先講啦
重有，我叫佢幫B-W錄啲嘢… 好難為你咩？左推右推，推跌部DV你賠啊
`
開車去大西洋城~~~ 真攞命
大半年冇開車啦，一嚟就咁激，上高速公路，重叫我追車﹖﹗﹗點追啊﹖
咪搞，我慢慢開，反正去到Atlantic City自然搵到佢
突然發現… 死啦，未開車頭燈！
租車，唔熟識添，點開燈架？黑咪掹，搵唔到個摯喎
忽然間幾隻手伸埋嚟幫我摸，乜摯都撳勻，水撥都開埋
唔掂唔掂，都係要停車先，剷上草地停低
開燈，OK… go go go
走走下… 唔係卦… 蕩失路？！… 重行雷閃電落大雨？！… 玩咩
“老竇~~~ 救命啊！”… 我老竇係最可靠嘅人肉GPS… 果然駛得
終於安全到達… 嘩，凌晨2點啦
`
AC係個奇怪城市，話知你窮到燶，只要你肯賭就有優惠，酒店房間免費住都得
如果你唔賭，就算你願意畀5百蚊美金一晚，酒店都未必讓間房你住
問幾間都話爆滿，我知道其實有房，不過人地要留畀大客仔，冇辦法
算… 反正大家都冇打算瞓覺…
`
喺賭場内遊蕩…
都幾搞笑，我地先過偶像上台，第一晚就喺music hall嘅舞台上hea
想象偶像在台上會點點點… 想象我地在台下會點點點
有個band友重話我地知偶像聽朝早會綵排
第二朝，我地又返去music hall，上咗balcony坐
偶像同其他人入嚟見唔到我地，不過佢地留一陣就走咗
肚仔餓，我地又走嚕，不過結果都係冇食嘢，走咗去曬相
`
聚會~~~有啲麻煩，地點遲遲未OK，搞到我好騰雞…
冇時間啦，啲fans嚟緊啦，於是我跑… 跑跑跑跑跑…
偶像睇住我跑，跑完一個方向又調頭再跑…
佢話我喎… 我想跑咩﹖都係因為你
終於搞掂，坐定定等，等極佢都未出現，我餓死咗
我專登放碟檸檬喺佢個位…
果然，佢坐低就問 “請我食﹖”… “係啊”… 我偷笑
跟住我又窒佢啲geography唔得，真係乜仇都報晒 ^_^
我走去同啲concert老細傾偈，叫下次再搵偶像過嚟登台，
要搵更大嘅場地，重話會幫手賣飛添
啲fans個個都好乖，坐定定又唔嘈… 佢地第一次見偶像好興奮啊
偶像啲相同簽名我有，所以我唔急，等fans簽先
其實最緊要簽張poster，點知個死仔包居然…
“寫錯啊﹗~~~ 係S-E-L-E-N-A唔係C啊”… “哎呀﹗改返”
點改都死，張poster三個簽晒，最肉酸係佢嘅簽名，真谷氣
畀張新鮮熱辣合照佢簽，重扮惡咁話 “唔好再寫錯啊”
佢好唔好意思啊，GL放過佢啦
我知佢冇嘢，影大合照重叫我企佢前面，我本來企咗埋一邊架
佢搭隻手喺我脖頭度輕輕拍咗兩下，當時我feel到啲嘢…
我feel到佢同我講 “多謝”，感覺好似我第一次見佢嗰次佢同我講 “多謝”
佢冇講出口… 又係我妄想症發作…
唔諗咁多… Kelly好忙，拎住啲相機多過佢啲手指，我走開咗去幫佢手
影完相，祝佢good show，跟住 bye bye~~~~
`
佢走咗，安樂晒 ^_^
`
有時我會諗，我到底係咪佢fans嚟架？
`
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[Show緊...雜想]
轉channel… 寫中文好攰… 尤其寫廣東話
`
Anyway… we met with Ella after meeting Bosco.
She is TOTALLY cool, VERY down to earth, I SO adore her now.
She even cursed in front of us… now how cool is that!
(a lot to say about Ella, but not gonna share it here, at least not now)
`
After she left… I FINALLY GET TO EAT LA!!!!!
OMG, you have no idea… I only ate a dry blueberry muffin in the past 24 hours…
WAITER!~~~~
`
We were eating and talking and just chilling in the restuarant, which, after several hours, was practically empty. All the other girls left but we took our time since we had several hours to kill before the show.
`
Later Kelly and I went to get flowers. I have never seen anyone wrap a bouquet like that shop lady. She was strangling the flowers… it looked horrible. I took the flowers, divided it into 2 batches and rearranged them… ya… much better.
`
OK now… SHOW TIME!
`
Our seats weren’t as great as we expected… but it’s all good… not like I ever stay put during a concert anyway. WOW this is exciting. He’s gonna come out any moment. I was so anxious I broke my glowstick… got goo all over my hand… yuck!
`
Cameras ready… he comes out… BAM! How in the world could anyone be so dashing? OK… his singing is err… nvm… but he looks good. He actually looks like a 天王巨星.
`
The atmosphere made it a good show… his presence made it a good show… his personality made it a good show. He was clever.. he used his wits to his advantage and pedaled the show with laughter rather than pure music. I really enjoyed the concert… so much that I thought it was just too short. 唔捨得咁快完~~~
====================================================
[Show後...雜想]
完show之後，我地等咗個幾鐘頭…
終於有人理我地啦，帶我地去佢suite門口等…
嘩，個corridor好grand啊，唔知裏面係點呢？…
佢出嚟，重未換衫，我宜家先睇清楚佢件tanktop原來係個清代姑娘，
好特別，特別在一件男裝tanktop會有咁嘅設計，如果有女裝我會幾鍾意咯…
佢個樣好攰啊，咁攰都肯見我地，真係好抵錫…
佢一出嚟我地就讚佢做得好，但係佢真係攰到唔曉笑咁…
我本來都唔想要佢簽嘢，不過我tat咗個大堂展示牌，好大件…
我唔想第日抬去機場畀佢簽，結果佢都肯簽，當然啦，佢幾時都咁順得人…
佢問我張嘢邊度tat返嚟，我好唔知羞咁話 “門口咯”… “咁都得？”…
佢可能覺得我short short地，冇緊要啦，反正我有時都係幾short…
之後佢話影相，重第一個望住我，因爲我企佢隔離，好自然我係第一個同佢影，
點知我話好攰唔影… 囧… OMG，請咗偶像食檸檬添… 今次唔覺意咋
但係人地當時真係好down啊，因為adrenaline突然減退關係，係生理問題
而且我本來就唔係咁鍾意影相，影少張咯，你個樣又咁攰，我個樣又咁攰，算啦
影大合照，佢畀人非禮啊﹗… 偶像下次大聲嗌 “唔好” 啊嘛…
早知我唔畀人企佢隔離… 不過我估佢今日都畀人非禮慣… 陰功
`
第三日，又好無聊咁週圍逛
行咗半條Broadwalk，好長好遠，其實我好想繼續行，個太陽好正，啲海風又涼爽
如果唔駛返紐約，我會落beach攤幾粒鐘，不過應該唔會有人想跟我去
班女仔好攰，要佢地行返轉頭會攞佢地命，等佢地慢慢逛outlet，我自己返酒店攞車
整定Kelly同佢有緣，喺outlet撞到佢… 哈哈，我又去撞下先
真係見到佢返房，扮偶遇，好冷淡咁講咗兩句，然後自己走先…
GL你好cool啊… 其實我係唔想阻佢時間
接晒人，出發，開車返紐約… 死，眼瞓添… GL你撐住啊
`
到機場，等
等咗好耐都未見人，所以打電話問問佢地走到邊…
原來塞車，重有好長段路先到機場
真怕佢地趕唔切miss咗班機，我估如果miss咗都幾大鑊
慘啦，啲未成年少女趕住返屋企交人，又有個成年少女未肯上飛機… 點好呢？
急call老竇，佢帶埋媽咪飛車嚟JFK幫我載人返屋企
媽咪本來已經帶晒人走，點知佢地一走，偶像就出現
好彩老竇醒目，遠處就spot到偶像落車入機場，
叫班女仔返轉頭，唔係就miss咗送偶像
然後人人都趕住check-in、影相、簽名、送禮物、etc.
哈哈… 我向偶像介紹我媽咪，媽咪重同偶像合照添，媽咪好鍾意睇“摺枱”架
我手機響… “你阿媽搵你，你阿爸搵你，你阿媽搵你，你阿爸搵你…”
OMG… 我諗除咗唔識聽廣東話的地勤人員，全部人都望住我
哈哈… “哎呀﹗我爸搵我” 行開咗answer…
“咩事﹖”… “影多幾張相，記得幫你媽咪影埋啊”… 我差啲笑死咗
老竇你果然係… 哈哈… 唔怪之得幾次話要跟我去AC
`
媽咪同班friend走咗，我送偶像同Kelly到禁區排隊…
唔等喇，好攰好眼瞓，走人
點知畀我見到… 咦，個枕頭寫住 “I Love NY”，重係粉紅色添
買買買，諗都唔諗就買，之前冇時間揀禮物所以冇買
希望呢個traveler’s pillow可以畀佢飛機上舒舒服服瞓一覺
佢真係好攰，返到香港又要開工，真係慘
撕開個膠袋叫保安叔叔遞畀佢，保安叔叔遞咗畀個黑鬼婆，黑鬼婆遞畀偶像
偶像以為人地搞錯，跟住保安叔叔指住我，偶像望過來，我向佢揮手，佢向我點頭
`
揮完手，轉身行，好想喊
行返上樓上，抹抹面，原來已經喊咗
`
偶像再見啦… 或者
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HOUSE OF BLUES
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舞台上的POV
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Gathering 大合照
`
帶咗返屋企 XD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
My birthday… Happy 21… again… hehe
My coworkers took me out last nite and I had a blast… the food was SO~~ SO good… I cleaned out my plate of BBQ baby back ribs, honey glazed chicken thigh, crispy homemade french fries, and butter smothered cornbread… and the slice of fried fish filet my coworker let me try. OMG, I felt my stomach was about to explode… speaking of explode… my drink for the nite… called “Fireworks”… it’s the size of a BOWL!!!
哎呀，見到Jeffland送俾我張圖…
同Carol舊年送給我嘅video…
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我真係好想偶像整生日蛋糕過我食啊… 妄想症發作忝
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偶像與我…最美麗的第七年
2007年6月23日。晴。今天是我做Bosco粉絲7週年，心情很好。
2000年6月23日﹐我隔著十萬八千里迷上一個男孩子。不知不覺喜歡他已經七年了﹐能跟他成長是我這個遙遠粉絲最開心的事…感謝發明互聯網的偉人。
舊朋友相信還記得嘰哩咕嚕上年發的文文吧﹐我就不重複了。新朋友有興趣知道我跟阿Co的瓜葛﹐可以看看這個舊帖。LINK
今年是我做他粉絲感受最深刻的一年﹐是最美麗的第七年，因為今年我終於見到他真人啦﹐ Yeah！！！ (雙手舉起彈上半空中)
2006年8月﹐第一次跟偶像在虛擬世界裡接觸，是我為鼓勵他通宵做了一個MV，發佈在BBS之後得到他回覆。這是6年幾以來第一次覺得…其實他不是那麽遙遠。
2006年11月﹐我膽粗粗隻身飛去香港玩﹐順道見見LB的親們﹐也幸運地見到偶像三次。見他之前做了好多心理準備﹐以為見面會興奮得暈倒，或者緊張得說不出話，結果是一次好casual的體會﹐這是自己的感覺﹐也是他給我的感覺 —— 好casual。Casual不代表平淡或不特別﹐因為這經歷真的非常特別﹐跟人說起跟他見面的經過﹐我依然好興奮。 (哇﹐能上台獻生日蛋糕給偶像﹐不在friend面前吹個十年八年﹐我算是個人嗎﹖) Casual是指舒服﹐見面時候雖然短﹐但是他的友善讓人覺得舒服自在 ﹐很快就拋下那緊張心情﹐投入歡樂氣氛。他的casual正正是當初吸引著我的最大元素﹐看著他在演藝圈起跌﹐好高興這份情操沒有被艱苦或名利磨滅﹐更高興自己能親身感受得到。最難得是來得及幫阿Co慶祝生日才回美國，那個gathering我一世都會記住，跟阿Co玩得開心，跟其他粉絲玩得也開心。最難忘隱蔽青年聚集維港，還有M記門口的街頭抱抱團 —— 十幾個不同地方的女孩子互相擁抱，再十幾人圍圈圈群抱，好開心啊。做阿Co粉絲有個很棒的副作用，就是能夠認識好多好多不同地方的新朋友。
我做阿Co粉絲最大的得著是歡樂，在我最難過的時候（今年難過的時候蠻多）我都能從他身上找到笑的力量。他的感染力能以不同形式，穿越時間地域，送到我耳邊、眼前、心裏。最直接受惠是我最down的時候看見他一段勵志的話在新聞雜誌出現，然後自己就有力量打起精神來。或者下班回家，在電視機前攤屍，煲幾集《野蠻奶奶》或《強劍》，立刻疲勞盡消。宛轉點的，心情不好的時候，msn上找個friend說說他的八卦趣聞，然後東拉西扯聊通宵，心情自然會好起來。好多時候是朋友的把我跟偶像的距離拉近，也是他的全在讓很多人變成我的好友知己…感謝帶偶像來世上的兩位偉人。
我覺得Bosco真的好down to earth﹐看得出他的友善發自內心﹐不會讓人覺得他高人一等﹐反而覺得他會有意無意在粉絲面前壓下他那份與生俱來的明星味。說起明星味﹐以前真的不覺得他有明星味﹐開始喜歡他的時候也不覺得他特別好看。但是“仔大十八變” ﹐現在的黃宗澤﹐誰敢說不帥﹖近兩年他外形變化好大，現在的他，舉手投足都散發著誘人的俊氣，難以抗拒的魅力。他會打扮﹐會包裝自己﹐我認為是專業的一種表現﹐是為滿足給他job的老闆們﹐也是為滿足觀眾同fans的眼球吧。他的外形會因角色而變，為角色塑造立體感，為我們帶來新鮮感。即使現在新髮型不被大家接受﹐但從《公益金》第一次見我就喜歡上這新形像﹐我相信自己眼光﹐相信Kyle一登場﹐什麼“不好看”的聲音都會熄滅。
今年做阿Co粉絲特別幸福，從去年１１月的《賭場風雲》開始，他的戯就一套接一套不停地播出或海發。新聞採訪不斷，雜誌頻頻見靚樣，近幾個月活動又多，差不多天天見報上電視，看得我差點吃不消。現在連我爸爸媽媽也很留意他每個演出，看預告有Ｂｏｓｃｏ都會特別提出，都很喜歡看他演戲。直到現在，阿Ｃｏ沒有一個演出讓我失望，就算劇情多普通（如上海）或多離譜（如溏心），我還是滿意他個人表現。
深信阿Co將來成就不會小，我也不為他擔心，只希望他給人歡樂的同時，自己也快樂。以前壯的很，這兩年身子差了，病好幾次，別熬得太盡啊，要保重自己。2017年好走好遠啊…不過如無意外，我會一直陪你走…走上舞台，走進大銀幕，走在紅地氈，走上頒獎台…一直在遠方，看著你每一步。:)
我…其實好神神化化
女人的心情真係好似天氣，上星期的雨天轉為今日的晴天，上星期的情緒化變咗最近的神神化化。我日常的瑣碎事就唔好提啦，跟Bosco有關係就有一兩件。
~~~~~騎呢纖體廣告~~~~~
有日看見偶像回應Myolie的angel look…
佢話若有纖體公司以天價找他拍，他都願意只以羽毛遮重要部位拍攝…
結果我整咗張咁嘅野…
原本係Adam and Eve。LB班友仔話換偶像個頭上去，我諗都會幾難睇。
~~~~~無啦啦又懶正義~~~~~
看見有fans係HK FC BBS話啲helper點點點，睇唔過眼去留言駁兩句。其實平時都會有人投訴，我都唔會出聲，唔知點解這個人投訴我好唔likey…可能因爲發現她之前已經係LB留過言，覺得這次所謂出func唔愉快只係借題發揮。更加大問題係佢驚動了偶像聖駕，而且MS唔多appreciate自己有見偶像的機會，於是留了些好禮貌但又帶小小骨的説話。
(冇錯，又係譚生個icon)
看見有人唔珍惜見偶像是多麽的幸福，反而令我更挂住佢。
~~~~~如何安慰自己~~~~~
跟fiona同shindy打了個招呼，發現自己個ｐｏｓｔ就係正偶像上面，於是…
…ｃａｐ了這一刻虛疑的ｃｌｏｓｅｎｅｓｓ留念。
八月佢真係會嚟？
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I’m a weirdo. Tomorrow I may hate his guts again. We shall see.
我…其實唔係好想睇溏心
唔係唔想…點講呢﹖之前好期待﹐好希望溏心快d播﹐可以見到靚靚model阿Jackie同埋型仔留學生阿Gilbert(好想佢up幾句雞腸嚟聽下)﹐但係宜家…冇mood囉。我會睇﹐絕對唔會錯過佢任何演出﹐不過就唔再係priority。慢慢等爸爸租碟我米坐低陪佢睇囉﹐費事上網追喇﹐橫掂HD都俾我塞滿晒野(1TB都爆滿﹐死未)﹐要清清…電腦要清清﹐人腦都要清清先得。
其實從HK翻黎就一直降溫﹐到宜家就快certified﹐某程度﹐極品加速了我的死亡…厄…咁講又好似嚴重過頭。係覺得厭…係睇到厭定追到厭呢﹖我都未搞清楚。暫時唔追唔睇會唔會好d呢﹖
見佢宜家咁紅﹐我好高興﹐自己參唔參與已經唔重要﹐我唔鐘意錦上添花。
5月佢唔嚟美國都好嘅﹐等我可以專心搵工跳槽﹐呢間公司留多一日我就覺得我健康下降幾分。
嗨…最近異常地情緒化﹐平時已經好覺﹐最近更加緊要﹐唔知乜事呢﹖或者又要搵專家問下。
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Just some thoughts from yesterday. Today is another day. 加油﹗
Me, LB and my idol
My short essay on LB the other day actually says very little about how I feel, because my Chinese is limited. I originally wanted to write in English, but some say I will have to translate it because they won’t understand. Sorry, I can’t. Writing is an expression of feelings, feelings are hard to put into words, and even harder to put into a foreign language.
My beliefs ~
I was raised in a world of differences. People around me all look, speak, and think differently. That’s why I’ve learned to accept people for who they are. It has nothing to do with actually being or pretending to be 偉大, it’s just culture. However, it’s not always easy to accept. Accepting requires seeing things from another person’s point of view, but it doesn’t mean you take on another person’s point of view — if I could do that, I won’t be in any conflicts, but that also means I won’t have a personality of my own. Forgiveness is the hardest form of acceptance. It means you’re accepting something you can’t tolerate. I do forgive. I don’t ask for forgiveness.
Past ~
January 31st, a LB admin banned a mod’s IP because they weren’t getting along. I stepped in and released the ban. The admin was furious and banned her again. I released it again. She then demoted her own ID to a regular member as a way to say “fine, I’m leaving if you don’t want me”. However she continued to use the “admin” ID to ban the mod after I repeatedly released the ban. Even left me a pm saying she will continue to do so because she doesn’t want that person to stay. I removed the admin privileges of the “admin” ID. She left.
I thought I made the right decision. I only wanted to give her a lesson because what she did was unquestionably wrong. I knew her quite well, and have been very patient and tolerant towards her — more so than any of my offline friends. I needed her to realize how much she’s disappointed me, that I was really angry, and maybe she would change. I thought she cared about how I feel and understood me. I was very wrong.
I was disappointed. Whenever she asked me for help, I never said no. When she asked me for advice, I gave her my true words. She said she will listen, will change her volatile personality, and that I am her role model. Yet all that was forgotten once I’m no longer on her side. I am now an enemy. Did she ever realize that I was hurt as well? Probably not. Maybe I disguise myself too well, so well that she thinks I’m cold-blooded.
I’ve cried because of her. Not LB. Her. She doesn’t know. I was tearing on a subway platform because that morning I knew I’ve lost a friend for good. On one side, I have my beliefs and she was stepping beyond what I could tolerate. On the other side, I have other friends that I felt obligated to pacify. She left. Knowing her, she will never forgive me and I will not ask forgiveness. I cried because I made a decision to give up on her.
And then I realized, she gave up on us first. She said she’ll open another forum. What I didn’t know was the forum was already up and running. Nobody told me. I guess they didn’t want to upset me. My first thought of her forum? It’s pretty. I didn’t register. Like I said before, I’m GeLiGuoLu no matter where I go. If I were to register, I would still be GeLiGuoLu, not some random alias. Spare us both the trouble, I’ll just stay away.
LB. People ask me a lot of questions about LB. What are you going to do about LB? Let it continue to run. Mods and members are leaving to the other forum, aren’t you going to do something to keep them? No. If they chose to leave, let them leave. I know many are pressured to leave, to declare their loyalty. I’m not a king and LB is not my kingdom. I don’t need people to declare loyalty to me or LB. Though I am very grateful, many have.
Present ~
I was warned about her intentions to take back LB. No doubt that she would try to. I just thought she was incapable of endangering LB since we no longer have actual data stored on the server she paid for. Her host has proven once again they have no professionalism whatsoever. I regret that I didn’t move LB entirely away from her host. I thought people would actually abide by oral contracts. I was wrong again.
Everyone was looking for me on March 22nd. I was at work and was extremely busy that day. At about lunch time, I took a break and went online. I went on Bosco bar first, like I usually do; then on LB, but I couldn’t login; so I went to BW. I saw Jo’s pm asking me to go on msn. As soon as I logged on, I was bombarded with messages. They were panicking because all the admins were banned, including yours truly. We agreed to move LB to another site and everyone began copying recent posts because I only had a backup of data through March 7th. Then they waited for me to set up the new site and waited for my cue to start deleting posts. Many people don’t understand why we deleted all the posts before we abandoned the old site. Why not just leave it there? Because we don’t want our efforts wasted on a forum that doesn’t respect us, and we know we will never be welcomed in her forum. Yes, sadly, it has come to that.
As the time came, it appeared she was working on the other side as well. Our most resourceful members were being deleted and their posts reduced blankness. All the news and several thousand posts showed nothing except a short note that the poster has been deleted. You want to know how I felt? Relieved. Yes, relieved. For once I no longer hesitated to act on my decision. Delete away! Spam away! We don’t want the forum to turn into one person’s playground, that’s all. We will bring it back and make it better than before.
I did feel bad that our members distracted Bosco bar on the next day. I don’t blame them though. They were furious because they cared a lot about LB. Also, many were wrongly accused on other forums and needed to plea. It was probably cowardly of us not to disclose the truth in the first place, giving someone a chance to tell stories and gain sympathy.
As for the accusations she wrote on her forum, I don’t intend to read. Yet there’s something I want to say in my defense, which may upset many LB members. I really didn’t want to stay at LB all that much to begin with. So please don’t accuse me of trying to take over the site for power or fame or whatever. I’ve been trying to stay away for months. I hinted to her before, but she just didn’t get it. Remember in October I asked for a vacation until 2007? I meant it, I needed time away.
Many members have voiced their support for LB. Many come to me with suggestions to aggressively bring LB back to life. Some don’t say much but still continue about their usual ways – sharing news, media, or just chatting. Many times I feel incompetent when I compare what I do to their contributions. I’m always last to hear about any Bosco news. I don’t have any resources to share because I’m so far away from him. I have no time to chat or post. And, worst of all, I no longer have the heart and soul to follow his every step everyday. I really hope this is not 7 year itch.
Future ~
I will try my best to keep LB in the hands of its members. But if one day she does successfully take back LB (she still has rights to the domain), I will not bother to open another forum. I’m tired. I’m sorry if I disappoint all the fans. It’s just not worth it. I’m a very laid back person to begin with and this forum have exhausted my mind and soul. I’ll just go back to making my MVs and wallies and surfing other fansites. Maybe then I will actually have time to worship my idol.
Closer than expected… a first encounter
At last, I met Bosco on November 26, 2006.
I was extremely psyched that entire day. After 6 years and 5 months, I finally get to meet him. At first I thought atmost I will meet him briefly at the airport as fans send him off to film TMBSD in Hoikado. Never really expected to catch the DB functions until the last few days before I depart NYC.
After I arrived, friends from LoveBosco.com tell me he postponed his trip to Japan, which I guess I wasn’t surprised but was waiting for some sort of confirmation. There’s now a great chance for me to meet him more than once. I was laughing hysterically on the floor, and may have made a fool of myself in front of LB friends that I just met for a few minutes. The day of the function, I was prepared to go on stage and play games with the cast. I thought that’s the best way to get close to him because many fans were there that day; and once they surround him, I may not even get a chance to take a picture with him.
Good news came one after another. First, we find out that Bosco will arrange time to meet fans after the event. Second, Snowy offered me the chance to give him the birthday cake on stage. I never expected to get so close under such special circumstances the very first time I meet him. I feel so so lucky and blessed.
At backstage, I scrambled to prepare the cake and flowers and then waited beside the stage for the right moment to bring up the cake. I wanted to get closer but was afraid to interfere with the crew. I had my digital camera with me, but was unable to take any pictures. Firstly because his back was facing me the entire time. Secondly, my hand was shaking and all the pics came out horribly blurry. All I could think of is ask Chan On Ying to turn around and let me take a picture. “Soh Gu’s” smile was friendly as she was 20 years ago in Condor Heroes. I eventually calmed down a bit.
After I got on stage, I was surprisingly calm. I remembered to light the candle on the cake. Bobby handed me the microphone and I started singing the birthday song. Bosco then cut the cake and I took pictures — which happen to be the clearest pictures taken the entire day. I heard Turtle (from LB) screaming out I’m from US, so I said it again to the mic. Bosco gave Jo a kiss and I shamelessly asked for one too. Of course Bosco politely gave me a peck on the cheek. I got all I wished for and more, so I was ready to leave. The press asked for a group picture. I was sorta afraid to stand out among the entire cast. I wanted to pull Jo off the stage but she clearly did not wanna leave Bosco’s side. So I took the group pic, feeling awkward the entire time — thinking “who’s that nobody standing among all the stars?” Once the cast left the stage, I relaxed and took pictures with Bosco. “Soh Gu” was really nice. Not only did she help us take pictures, she also suggested changing the direction we were facing so that the “Dicey Business” title was in the background. The press began to interview Bosco. I took a few more pics and walked over to take pics of Michael. Michael’s really really handsome in a mature and masculine way. I believe Bosco would be just as manly in the future.
After leaving the stage, I developed amnesia — everything that just happened seemed hazy and my heart began pouncing again. I mindlessly followed the rest of the fans to the upper level to wait for Bosco. It was weird that only when he came out from the restaurant, I gained back some sense. I did not rush up at the first moment. Instead, Turtle was the one pushing me to get my picture with Bosco — she was telling the helpers I’m from US and kept saying “GL go. GL go.” I eventually got my chance for a portrait with Bosco. I placed my arm around his waist but it was not as exciting as I imagined; maybe because I’m use to slight intimacy during photos. Nonetheless, my happiest and most memorable moment was about to come. After the portrait, I looked straight into Bosco’s eyes and asked if he remembers the music video I posted on his BBS. He widened his eyes and looked at me, apparently surprised, and asked “That was you?” I nodded my head. He then reached out both hands, placed one on my arm, the other held my hand, with a serious and sincere tone he said “Thank you.” And then he gave me a smile — this smile was different from the one he had during all the pictures. That very moment, the numerous sleepless nights, the years and months of time and effort, all were reconciled.
I took out the “Forever Red” Music Video Collection DVD that I made and sent to him in June. I asked if he received it and he said yes. Though his expression tells me he did not watch it. However, I was not disappointed. Knowing how busy he is and the amount of mail that he must receive, I expected this DVD may not ever reach him. Now it has a chance to be watched by Bosco. From the video Turtle filmed, I see Bosco had his eyes glued to the DVD jacket until I put it away. Wonder if he would look for it and watch it when he gets home?
Tina asked me for the paper on which I wanted Bosco to write a message. I handed it to Bosco and stood behind him while he wrote on it — close enough to smell him. I did not smell cologne, but a teeny tiny bit of nicotine. I’m very sensitive to the smell of nicotine, but nicotine on him did not smell bad at all. Xiao8 (from LB) asked me to hand him pictures for autographs. There were many pics of different events and I passed them to him one by one. He said he really likes the red jumpsuit he wore during the night of the hiphop performance because he thinks it looks really good on him. I whispered to his ears “Everything looks good on you.” He turned his head and smiled at me — a very cute smile. I found a pic of his firefighter look from the night of the anniversary show and passed it to him while saying I really like him as a firefighter. After he signed his autograph, he used the gold marker to circle the expensive diamond watch — how could anyone not love his innocence.
A mysterious fan I was, hiding my face in all forums, now exposed to such degree, I find it very ironic and funny. The thought that once I leave HK it will be really hard to see him in person again really saddens me. However, this one encounter is enough for me to savor for the rest of my life. I’m very satisfied.
終於見到他了。本來不想寫什麽感想，可是真的很怕自己會忘記那天的感覺。
我那天整天都很興奮，因爲知道終于可以見他了，等了六年零五個月了，不興奮才騙人。
我原本以爲這次來香港可能只有機會在機場匆匆忙忙送他出發北海道拍外景，沒想到會碰上《賭場風雲》的宣傳活動。
來到的時候，LB的親們說他改遲了到一月才去日本，我將有機會見他多幾面，我簡直樂瘋了，坐在酒店房間地下對住幾個既陌生又親切的人傻笑，畢竟第一次見面才幾分鐘，真失禮，大當家形象完全幻滅。活動當天，我做好心理準備隨時上台玩遊戲，因爲只有這樣才可以多點時間親近他，那天太多fans了，他一旦被纏上，我可能連一張合照也拍不到。
好消息一個接一個，先是說Bosco會安排時間見我們，然後多得pinpin讓出上台獻蛋糕的機會，我萬萬想不到能那麽近距離，在那麽特別的安排之下見他第一面，我覺得自己太幸運太幸福了。進了後台，手忙腳亂的擺好蛋糕和花，然後就在台邊等時機。我又想走近點，但又怕妨礙工作人員，只好靜靜的等，順便叮囑自己上台後別太緊張也別太花痴。手上拿數碼相機，什麽也拍不到，一來全程只看住他背影，二來手不停的發抖，就想到叫安瑩姐轉身讓我拍一張照，“傻姑”的笑容二十年如一日的親切，好讓我冷靜下來。
上台後，我反而非常冷靜，記得要點蠟燭，Bobby把米交給我，我就唱生日歌，然後Bosco砌蛋糕我就拍照，是我整天拍得最清晰的幾張。聽到我那個熱心契細佬在台下大叫說我是美國來的，我也用米說了一次。Bosco親了Jo一下，我居然罕有地當衆撒嬌說“我又要”，Bosco當然不會拒絕，我得嘗所願，其實已經準備下台了。記者要求大合照，我怕插在多位演員中間，正想把Jo拉走，可是她明顯不願下台，我就留下來一起照，心裏縂覺得很尷尬。後來所有演員都下台了，我就放心慢慢跟Bosco合照。“傻姑”很好，不只幫我們拍照，還建議換站立方向好讓後面看見到《賭場風雲》的字。契細佬不示弱的跳上台跟我們合照，撘住她脖子，我更是開心，看見記者來，她閃得很快，很搞笑。記者訪問Bosco，我再拍幾張，跟住就開始拍三哥，他好帥，我想Bosco將來也會一樣有魅力。
下台之後，怫然失憶了，發生的事好像夢一樣模糊，心跳又好像開始加速，游魂般跟所有人上樓等Bosco。很奇怪，他從酒樓出來我又變得理智了。我沒有第一時間衝上前，反而是契細佬摧我，跟helper說我是美國來的，她很怕我錯失拍照的機會，在我後面說”GL上，GL上”，我好感動。我上前合照，還攬住Bosco腰，只是感覺沒有我想象的興奮，可能因爲我習慣跟人攬頭攬頸，麻木了，但是讓我最最開心興奮的一刻即將來臨。我拍完照，緊緊望住他雙精靈眼睛，問他記不記得我放上BBS的MV，他瞪大眼睛看住我，很愕然說“果個係你啊？”，我點頭，然後他伸出雙手，一隻手撘住我右臂，一隻手牽住我右手，很嚴肅誠懇的說了聲“多謝你”，然後對住我笑，這一笑跟剛才拍照的笑容不一樣。無數個通宵，一直以來所花的精神同心機，就在那一刹得到百分之二百回報。
我拿出六月時寄到電視城的”Forever Red” MV特輯DVD，問他有沒有收到，他說收到，可是他眼神告訴我他沒有看過。我沒有覺得失望，我清楚知道他有多忙，每天收到的信件多不勝數，DVD寄出的時候我就想很大機會石沉大海，現在它反而有機會重見天日。從契細佬拍的視頻我看見Bosco盯住那個DVD封套直到我把它收起來，他會不會回家找來看看？我開始妄想了。
Tina問我拿寫手稿的畫紙，我就給Bosco寫，站在他身後看他寫字，聞到他身上氣味，他沒有古龍水味，但有丁點尼古丁味，我對這個很敏感，可是他身上的一點也不難聞。小8叫我給他簽照片，很多不同活動的照片，我一張張給他簽，他說喜歡跳HipHop那晚的紅色運動裝，自己覺得穿的很好看，我在他耳邊說“你穿什麽都那麽好看”，他回頭對我笑，好可愛。我看見他台慶夜消防員那張照片，傳給他簽名時說我很喜歡他做消防員，簽名後，他用金筆圈住那只昂貴磚石錶，真的不能不愛他的孩子氣。（要謝謝小8割愛讓出帥帥消防員）
本來神神秘秘的隱蔽fans，現在一次過狠狠地暴光，自己覺得很矛盾，但又好好笑。我知道離開香港之後，很難再見Bosco了，有點失落，可是這一次足以回味一輩子，我很滿足了。